Happy Birthday David Letterman!

If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsover.

Small Talk ist die Kunst an Wichtiges zu denken, während man Unwichtiges sagt.

There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.

Das wundervolle Gestern: das gewöhnliche Heute in der Erinnerung von morgen.

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

Gottes bester Einfall war die Arbeit.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

Ölscheichs sind Männer, die grundsätzlich ein ganzes Ballett heiraten.

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.

Prestige ist das, was uns zwingt, etwas freiwillig tun zu müssen.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

Wer möchte nicht lieber ein bißchen dümmer werden durch Glück als klüger durch Schaden.

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.

Wer keinen Sinn für Humor hat, wird in diesem Land nie irgend etwas erreichen.

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves.

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water.

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets.

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.

I believe I have voted for both Democrats and Republicans. Am I either one? Absolutely not. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an American.

If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsover.

There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing.

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts.

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.