Happy Birthday Leslie Nielsen!

You know it's very difficult to be an actor, and to have people depending on you to say the right line, at the right time, and to not be able to hear your cues! I can't tell you how many times I would've had to have said What? if I didn't have my hearing aids. So my hearing aids are a life saver, and they allow me to practice my craft.

Ja, das ist meiner, ich habe eine Quittung dafür.

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

Nein, Jane, das kann ich nicht, weil die Guten nun mal die Guten sind und die Bösen nun mal die Bösen! ...es sei denn, es kommt ein Blitz vom Himmel und die guten werden plötzlich böse, aber das ist jetzt nicht wichtig.

I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts; perhaps it was my Canadian accent.

Die Ärzte sagen, er hätte eine Fifty-Fifty Überlebenschance - könnten aber auch nur 50 Prozent sein.

I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, you know, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there's no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that's standing ten feet to eleven feet tall! Can you imagine? But it was fascinating to work that close to that kind of animal.

Ich trinke nie beim Schlafen.

I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important.

Ich verstehe Sie nicht. Am besten Sie schießen nicht während Sie reden.

The reason they call it 'golf' is that all the other 4 letter words were used up.

Ich möchte eine Welt, in der man aus einer Toilette trinken kann, ohne Ausschlag zu bekommen. 

It's been dawning on me slowly that for the past 35 years I have been cast against type, and I'm finally getting to do what I really wanted to do.

Von allen Frauen dieser Welt musstest du in meine treten!

The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address.

Ich brauche keine Nummer, nennt mich einfach Nick der Schlitzer McGurk! Und jetzt entschuldigt mich, ich muss noch eine Liste mit Typen anfertigen die ich umlegen will.

There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.

Nicht bewegen, Baby! Ich hab eine Kanone! Nicht hier, aber ich habe eine!

I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each other, particularly my two brothers and myself, when my father was upset with something you'd want to make sure in some way you made him laugh. Because when he didn't laugh, you were in trouble!

Danke! Um ehrlich zu sein, die letzten beiden habe ich überfahren…zum Glück stellte sich heraus, dass es Drogendealer waren.

It was a boy's name first.

Man geht heutzutage schon ein Risiko ein wenn man sein Haus verlässt und seinen Kopf in einen Ventilator steckt!

I like that kind of 'straight-faced' comedy. I like to be straight-faced and outrageous.

I wore that same shirt yesterday playing golf. There goes the Nike account.

Shirley! Don't call me Shirley!

It's not really that I've been an advocate for hearing aids for a long time, it's just that I've been losing my hearing for a long time! So it's actually very important for me because I'm actually hearing impaired and I simply want to hear better!

The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.

There were 15 people in the village, including five of us. If my father arrested somebody in the winter, he'd have to wait until the thaw to turn him in.

I've finally found my home - as Lt. Frank Drebin.

Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare.

I have always loved science fiction. One of my favorite shows is 'Star Trek.' I like the trips, where it drops my mind off, because they give you a premise and all of a sudden, you say, 'Oh!' and I'm fascinated by it.

It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.

Well, when I see five weirdos, dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that’s *my* policy!