Happy Birthday Garry Shandling!

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.

I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.

I think sometimes I should do more carousing, because I don't do much and maybe it would be fun occasionally. It's hard for me to have fun and I'm a serious thinker and a searcher and funny from the front.

I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session.

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.

I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.

I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present.

Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship.

I'd like to do more acting.

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

'The Larry Sanders Show,' it's actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at first. But if that love didn't exist, the darker attitudes would not play. You would have a one-dimensional, cynical show, which I don't think the show was.

I once saw an elaborate landscape in a gallery, drawn in pencil, that took my breath away. Then I realized the artist probably didn't have enough confidence to use a pen.

I am interested in how human beings react to crisis and conflict.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.

I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out.

I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer.

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me.

When I don't have a good time, it's usually because there's a stiffness that stifles creativity.

It takes me so long to get tired of a man. It's women that are the problem. Don't get me wrong. I think men have their problems just as much as women.

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.

I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.

I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity.

Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships, because I do have commitment issues. My friends tell me I have intimacy problems, but they don't know me, so who cares what they think?

I like to talk on the cell when I do interviews. That way, I double my chances of getting brain cancer: from the cell phone, and from the questions.

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?

I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad.

Everyone at a party is uncomfortable. Knowing that makes me more comfortable.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.

But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.

It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.

I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.

I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. Two women, fine. But I flinch when I think of two Jewish women getting together and having a child because the idea of having two Jewish mothers makes my head explode. I have one; I couldn't handle two.

I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.

First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.

You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.

I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.