Happy Birthday Walter Matthau!

You see, my father was a Catholic priest, Greek Orthodox, but I think he started out as a Jew, then he became a Catholic priest.

Der Vorteil des Alters ist der, daß man die Dinge nicht mehr begehrt, die man sich früher nicht leisten konnte.

I wanted to be a pharmacist. I liked the way our local pharmacist was always dressed in a nice white coat; he looked very calm, you'd give him money, and he'd give you something that you wanted to buy.

Nichts ist schwerer, als gar nichts zu machen.

The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.

Der zweite Frühling kommt mit den dritten Zähnen.

It's very easy to live here. You're anonymous here. Nobody knows who you are.

Für ein gutes Tischgespräch kommt es nicht so sehr darauf an, was sich auf dem Tisch, sondern was sich auf den Stühlen befindet.

Why don't you do the world a favour. Pull your bottom lip up over your head and swallow.

Ein moderner Familienvater ist ein Mann, der alle herumkommandieren kann, solange ihn keiner hört.

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.

Nichts ist schwerer, als gar nichts zu machen. (Deshalb sind wir heute zusammengekommen, um es uns leichter zu machen, indem wir etwas machen, das wir uns schon lange vorgenommen haben.)

I could play a cop, I could play a crook, I could play a lawyer, I could play a dentist, I could play an art critic-I could play the guy next door. I am the guy next door. I could play Catholic, Jewish, Protestant. As a matter of fact, when I did The Odd Couple, I would do it a different way each night. On Monday I'd be Jewish, Tuesday Italian, Wednesday Irish-German-and I would mix them up. I did that to amuse myself, and it always worked.

Lebensstandard ist der Versuch, sich heute das zu leisten, wofür man auch in zehn Jahren noch kein Geld haben wird.

I always had one ear offstage, listening for the call from the bookie.

Get out of show business. Its the best advice I ever got, because Im so stubborn that if someone would tell me that, I would stay in it to the bitter end.

Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I needed. It all started happening after that.

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

Every actor looks all his life for a part that will combine his talents with his personality... 'The Odd Couple' was mine. That was the plutonium I needed. It all started happening after that.

I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body.

It's very easy to live here. You're anonymous here. Nobody knows who you are.

To be successful in show business, all you need are 50 good breaks.

You can't do it with strangers. It takes about five years to get into the ebb and flow. If it's not working after five years, get rid of them.

The first girl you go to bed with is always pretty.

My own feeling is that he was a shyster and that he would become anything to get his way. Like, if he met you, he would be preaching papal supremacy.

We're writing a book together. She just finished one. Did you read it? Among the Porcupines?

My mother paid eight dollars a month for rent. When she had it. Mostly we were evicted, because she couldn't afford to pay the eight dollars a month.