Happy Birthday Steve Martin!

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Ich glaube, dass Sex eines der schönsten, natürlichsten, gesündesten Dinge ist, die man für Geld kaufen kann.

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

Eine Berühmtheit ist jeder bekannte Fernseh- oder Filmstar, der so aussieht, als hätte er mehr als zwei Stunden mit seiner Frisur zugebracht.

I think I meant that, given the circumstances of my childhood, I had the illusion that it's easier to be alone. To have your relationships be casual and also to pose as a solitary person, because it was more romantic. You know, I was raised on the idea of the ramblin' man and the loner.

Über Musik zu sprechen ist wie über Architektur zu tanzen.

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might be.

Ein wahrer Freund ist jemand, der dir Geld leiht und dann das Zeitliche segnet.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Gedächtnisschwund mit zunehmendem Alter ist kein Grund zur Sorge - es sei denn, Ihr Arzt leidet daran.

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.

What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer - there was nothing I could really say I was. The writing came much later. And, actually, thank God, because if I had said I'm a singer, I would really have just had one thing to do.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I just wanted to be in show business. I didn't care if I was going to be an actor or a magician or what. Comedy was a point of the least resistance, really. And on the simplest level, I loved comedy.

I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.

Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

I don't think anyone is ever writing so that you can throw it away. You're always writing it to be something. Later, you decide whether it'll ever see the light of day. But at the moment of its writing, it's always meant to be something. So, to me, there's no practicing; there's only editing and publishing or not publishing.

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready.

I never thought much about success early on. I only thought about being a comedian - or just being in show business, is really more accurate.

I'm tired of wasting letters when punctuation will do, period.

Love is a promise delivered already broken.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

Nothing I do is done by popular demand.

I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.

'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' is a good one because it not only turned out, I think, to be a really funny movie but it was also a delight to shoot. We were in the South of France, working with Glenne Headly and Michael Caine and Frank Oz the director - who were just fun.

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot.