I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member.
I came here for a party and what do I get? Nothing. Not even Ice cream.
I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
I'll do anything you say. In fact I'll even stay. But I must be going.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Do you mind if I don't smoke?
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
If I were a man, you would resent that.
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
I'll show you a thing or three.
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
quote, unquote, and quote.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Alright, leave it out and put in a windshield-wiper instead.
It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all.
Well, all the jokes can't be good. You've got to expect that once in a while.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
That's a date, now, Saturday at three. No, you better make it Tuesday. I'm going to Europe Monday.
Come get your ice-cream! Come get your tootsie-frootsie ice cream!
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
If I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you!
Go, and never darken my towels again.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!
Mustard's no good without roast beef.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
I got his tie what did you get...the birth mark thats great.
I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.
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