Happy Birthday Bob Crane!

Don't go by me, I'm a peanut butter and jelly man myself.

Mike Douglas's producer said I was 'pushy.' I was pushy. I know it. I try not to be pushy, but I come on too strong. I exhaust people. I take over, I don’t really mean to, but I dominate. A tornado is let loose. It happens when I'm interviewed. On The Merv Griffin Show, Merv looked as if he'd been hit by a flounder.

Of course in the newspaper ads, it's usually the actor that's doing the recommending, but what do you know? That's not a very nice thing to say to a listener is it? 'What do YOU know?

I joke. It's a comic's defense. If they get you in a corner—throw a funny line and run!

I'm up the creek! I don't have a boat. I don't have a paddle. I don't even have a creek!

One of the wonderful things about our relationship is that we didn't start out as lovers. We started out being good friends and confidants. I got to know her [Patricia Crane] for all the other attributes she has, and she got to know me, she discovered, to her amazement that Hollywood actor or not, I was family oriented. I love kids. I love family living.

Hey, look, don't let me bother you. You kids go right ahead and do whatever it is you do, the swimmin' and the volleyball playin'. I'll just set up my little camp here and, and relax.

I wanted to be a musician, a drummer, and studied and practiced my head off for 20 years. And if you ask anyone today in show business they will tell you that I never made it.

Right away, I thought it was a great idea. The last 10 years have been good for contractors. It's great to give something back.

I don't smoke, I don't drink, two out of three ain't bad.

It's just an experiment, but if it keeps up this way, we may get a couple more.

I’m not well educated—I’m afraid of intellectual snobs. People bring up cultural subjects and I have to walk away like a dummy. Tony Randall scared me. He talked about opera—Puccini! All I know is Dave Brubeck. I didn't open my mouth for fifteen minutes!

She could have been the driving force.

I love life. I'm an optimist. I'm the guy that always assumes no matter what's in that room, there's a pony hidden underneath all of that stuff.

Visitors are always amazed because they thought she lived in a terrible dungeon or something. But she was never in some hellhole. You can tell Patrick Henry loved his wife.